Thursday, December 31, 2009


I hate going to the dentist...It isn't so much that is scares me. It is more about having to sit in a small room with no way to escape and stuff in my mouth making me feel like I can't breath or I am going to choke! I was scheduled to have my last two wisdom teeth (for lack of a better word), "YANKED". Now you might be asking yourself why I did not have this done years ago when most people would have had them taken out...Well, I was only blessed with three of them so, I was shorted on the "wisdom" part of things to begin with....But, it was decided for me by my dentist way back when, that I actually needed those last two wisdom teeth until well... Now! I know, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me either but, then again I am not a dentist! I was told last week that it would be a rather "simple" procedure involving a couple of rather painless injections of lidocaine...(Is there such a thing as a painless injection...I think not). I was also told that there was really no reason for any of the "big" anesthesia sort of stuff..."Easy" the Dr. told me, they would come right out and I could pretty much do what I wanted for New Years Eve. At this point I should tell you, I really have a problem going to the dentist. I get all kinds of anxious. My palms start to sweat before I even walk through the door. On the ride over to her office my stomach was doing somersaults and I had this dooms day feeling which I think is probably just a normal part of going to the dentist for some of us!

I walked in and the cheery little receptionist greeted me with a friendly hello and had me fill out paper work which basically said that I wouldn't sue them if anything went awry and then tells me how much it will be...( About this time I'm thinking that the tooth fairy is in the wrong business. She should defiantly be taking them out not picking them up! ). Then an even sweeter dental assistant comes out to usher me back to what I have come to refer to as the torture chamber. I look around quickly for an escape route knowing that my claustrophobia will get the better of me if I can't see a way out. I sit tentatively down into the over elaborate lawn chair which I lovingly refer to as "Old Sparky", and wait for the next bright and cheery person to walk into the room. Overly friendly dental assistant hooks me up with a TV on the ceiling and that cute little bib and chain then in walks the dentist! After a couple of formalities she informs me that we need to get me numb and pulls out her equipment...A very large needle! I'm thinking...where's the little Q-tip with the stuff on it that makes it so you don't feel the shot so much...Yikes! After the "BIG" ones in the back upper and lower part of my mouth she says to me..."Now I need to give you a shot in the roof of you mouth. I hurts but it is over with real fast, are you ready? What do I say to that?... NO, I am not ready, NO, I hate those shots, NO, are you kidding...NO, NO, NO! Dang, that hurt! The roof of your mouth is just not a place for a needle.

Completely numb now, it is time to get started. Overly friendly dental assistant extraordinaire on one side, dentist on the other and rather daunting instruments that I am all too familiar with in plain sight. Bite block in and off we go...Oops! Tooth broke. All four roots still in jaw... dig, dig, dig. More lidocaine. More digging, drilling started. Lips stretched beyond...well, new nickname could possibly be the "Riddler". I'm nearly drowning in the water at the back of my throat that dental assistant extraordinaire is NOT seeing...Dentist asks for surgical instruments... I'm starting to shake... Someone brings a blanket and puts it over me...I feel better...warmer...I keep looking for that opportunity to make a quick exit out my escape I dreaming...did they slip me something in that last hour later tooth is finally out in 7 pieces!

Tooth #2...Had to start out with a second shot to the roof of my mouth because the first one had worn off...AWESOME!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

~Christmas 2009~

I really had good intentions of trying to get a cute picture of all of the little ones around the Christmas tree, all together at once. Can I just tell you that professional photographers really EARN their pay! There is NO WAY these 6 little kids were going to hold still for 5 seconds to let me take a quick picture of all of them together so, I opted for shots of each of them separately. 284 pictures later these are the ones I dare post. I have to admit that none of them turned out all that great but I am trying to learn how to use a new camera (thanks Steve) and it is a little more than what I am used to. I have a LOT to learn!!! (I SO love digital).

Our third Christmas was just as fun as the first two. We had everyone here today for dinner and then to open the last of the gifts! Now, the house is empty again and I am not sure if I am ready for it all to be over...I love Christmas. I love everything about it. I love the anticipation and the feel of the holidays. It seems like we spend so much time getting ready for them that when they are finally here they come and go so fast we are often left scratching our heads and wondering where it all went!
I think that I am learning to enjoy them even more. I think that I am learning to relax a little and just "observe" . I am realizing that life is changing for me in more ways than I want to admit but that most of the time it is not a bad thing. It is rather enjoyable to watch from the soft seats as my children take charge of each of their own little families. Oh, they still want me to do the cooking and at times need my company and sound, sage, advise...hehe...But for the most part it is each other that they come to see and I love that!

So this is Christmas 2009, tomorrow it is back to work and the sweet memories of Christmas hopefully will carry me through the 12-14 hour of surgeries I am sure they have scheduled for me :)

Saturday, December 26, 2009

~CHRISTMAS 1, 2, & 3~

For the first time in my entire life I woke to NO children for Christmas! WOW, what a different Christmas morning that was for me. Not really sure that I liked it all that much but, realizing that Christmas is all about "sharing, and giving, and being nice" I endured the morning and waited patiently until the kids started filtering in...Christmas is just too quiet without the kids! There is none of that excited anticipation, no delighted screams, no momentous confusion as they try to decide what to do first. The opening of gifts was way to calm and organized and I swear it lasted all morning...with kids, it's over in half an hour, papers and boxes tossed helter-skelter and then it's time to play with EVERYTHING! Nobody wants breakfast, kids are way to excited to eat. It's a picture taking heaven with everyone so animated you hardly have to delete a shot. I'm not saying that I didn't enjoy the morning, it was just different. I can do different once in awhile and sometimes different can turn out to be unexpectedly nice in a peaceful, middle aged sort of way...blah, blah, blah! Okay, the one thing I can say about the "off " year is this...It lasts all weekend. Christmas Day was Abbie's day, she was the highlight. The funny thing was that she didn't want to open any of her presents, she just wanted to play with the old familiar ones. You could find her over in the corner with grandma's "old" toys playing contently while everyone else (the adults) were tearing into their gifts and delighting in the NEW things they were all so excited to receive.

Tonight (Saturday) I will get to see Gage and Ali and watch as they open their presents bringing Christmas back again for a couple of hours (okay maybe 30 seconds) to our house, then tomorrow Cole, Maddie and Bella will return from Wyoming and we will get a chance to do it all over again. We have had a chance to spend individual time with each family this year, it really has been great! Different but good. The best part is that tomorrow the cousins get to see each other! How they love to be with one another. It's almost better than the presents for them! Abbie wandered around all day on Christmas asking us where Cole and Maddie were and pointing to Gage and Ali's pictures. She wanted THEM for Christmas. SO cute.

I will post pictures as soon as our THIRD Christmas is underway :)

Thursday, December 24, 2009


In my busy world I have little time to really sit back and enjoy life's little wonders. I am usually too tired to even cook when I come home from work and opt for a cookie and a diet sprite! I make my way to the computer and find there a little "parallel" universe that I have created for myself...My blog.

I was looking through some of my pictures of my grandchildren and in doing so realized once again how very blessed I am to have in my life such beautiful children. Each one brings a unique and wonderful personality that I cherish. I have watched them grow and have been amazed at how much they accomplish in so few years. I know that I certainly was not as smart as they are when I was their age.

Our grandkids like their grandpa best. I think it is because he is the one that spoils them the most. When they come to our house or, to the cabin grandma is usually cooking and grandpa is there to play with. Just the way it should be. I keep thinking that I will win them over some day but I don't think so. Simply put, they LOVE their grandpa! Just ask them they are brutally honest. It's okay, I keep reminding myself...they would starve to death without me...

Christmas is so much more fun when the grandkids arrive! I can hardly in hand...til they get here. It is almost like it was when our kids were kids only better because, when they get tired and cross they go home with their moms and dads, take a much needed nap and come back again all "niced" up! Gotta love that!

To all of you who read my blog and comment...Thank you! For all of you who read my blog and don't comment...That's okay to. I hope that all of you have a wonderful holiday season filled with family, friends and the love that comes when we center our homes and our lives around our Savior who's birth we celebrate.

Merry Christmas, may we be generous with the spirit this wonderful season brings. Smile more, reach out and take a hand, say thank you, talk to the people around you, and look...Up.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009


Yea, pretty much John is going to kill me for this one but, I just can't help but post this...Steve had this "vintage" snowmobiling one-piece coverall that he found the other day tucked away...far, far away in a box that had been in our storage room for probably more than 20 years! Last night John
and Garett found it! John has decided that he will forever use it now as his signature apparel whenever he goes snowmobiling with his friends... ( If you think John looks ridiculous you should have seen Garett...). I am afraid that if John wears that get up snowmobiling with friends he may not ever be invited to go again!

One of the things I love about my boy is that they never cease to make me laugh. When Garett came up first in this little out fit, I SO wish I would have had my camera handy. Just picture in your mind a giant in a leotard :). John being, shall we say a bit more petite...,tried it on and it fit perfectly. He wore it the rest of the night! If he got hot he simply unzipped the pant legs...Instant air vents! Needless-to-say he wore it home and I am happy to say that I don't think that I will ever have to worry about Steve showing up wearing the thing however, I am not convinced that John, Clark or possibly even Garett won't try to wear it out and about this winter just because, after all, they think that they really are trend setters to some degree. That is one "trend" that really needs to stay tucked away in a box in my storage room for another 20 years, possibly eternity!

Sunday, December 20, 2009


We were so happy today to have Cole and Maddie show up before they left for Wyoming to spend Christmas with their Grandparents there. Cole just had to come over and play with the train one more time before he left! He LOVES the train that circles our Christmas tree. He could spend hours watching it go around. He loads the cars up with all kinds of stuff and then unloads them just to load them up again. John, our son even said that they would stay home for Christmas this year and not go to Wyoming if we would buy Cole a train just like ours for Christmas...TEMPTING!!!

Madison loves to watch Cole play. Once in awhile she will try to add her special touch which usually knocks the train from it tracks and causes all sorts of havoc. Cole is generally pretty patient with her which I find very endearing. He is a gentle little soul for the most part quickly diverting her attention to something else while he continues to "do his thing".

Maddie still eludes my camera for the most part. She can't understand why I always want to put this black lens right in her face and then say "look at grandma". She tries her hardest to look around it and see me looking at her from behind the camera...Smart girl. She makes me smile.

I can't wait until Christmas when all the grandchildren are here. They make Christmas, Christmas!

Friday, December 18, 2009


Things are different now, tighter, tougher. Sometimes it feels as if just getting through another week without going backward is a great accomplishment. Work for both Steve and I has gotten more stressful in opposite ways. His because he doesn't know if it will be there tomorrow and mine because I'm not sure I want to be there tomorrow. Either way we watch each other worry about where we will be a year from now and how many more gray hairs our head can possibly sprout! We never thought that life would lead us down a lovely road right smack dab into a dead end but, it has. Now we are trying to figure out how to turn around and in the process trying to decide if we still even like each other! I wonder how many others there are out there like us? We have lived independently together for 33 years. Haven't really needed each other to lean on mostly because any over display of emotional weakness would be admitting that we were not quite up for the job...That of super mom/dad and overall "master's of our universe". How funny is that? Now we just sit back and wish we could be the master of anything...Life is so unpredictable for some of us and so predictable for others yet, we take what we are handed and do the best we can. We still have so much more than we ever thought possible and are so grateful for our happy, healthy family. Steve adopted an attitude a long time ago that if you share what you have with those you love ( well, with Steve, "everyone") you will always have what you far it has worked for us. He is much better at the "sharing" thing than I am but, over the years I can actually say that I am learning ...By the way complaining about the "sharing" cancels it's "benefits" and sharing only when it is easy or convenient cancels it's "benefits"...These are things I have learned the hard way over the years. In a way I guess that I am still in the process of learning. Aren't we all. I hope so, it's seems that the older I get the lessons become just a little more delicate and a lot more meaningful. Hopefully somewhere down life's road they will have made me into a kind and wise old woman!

Sometimes being a "slow learner" isn't a bad thing, in fact it could possibly be a good thing. Maybe it's the one thing that keeps us on this earth a while... I can see it now, my finial judgement day, I am 106 years old, I have no hair left, my teeth are long gone having been replaced by a rather bad set of dentures. I can't get around without my "jazzie"for fear I will fall and fracture a hip and, I have been wishing for years that I could just get to the other side where I am convinced my entire family is now waiting... I finally make the transition from earth to heaven ( I SO hope it's heaven). My age is mentioned, 106 earthly years, there is an uncomfortable pause... Yes, I have to admit right there and then that it took me awhile to become proficient in "sharing"...And possibly a few other things!

Monday, December 14, 2009


I was on my way to work this morning at my usual time of 5:15 a.m. when my cell phone rang. My phone NEVER rings at that time of morning so it startled me a little. I looked at it and it was my nursing supervisor. Thinking to myself that this could be either good or bad I tentatively answered to find out that my surgeon who had scheduled 8+ hours of surgery was sick and my day had been "CANCELED"!!! I happily turned my car around and headed home thinking of all the things that I could do today...Skiing being on the top of my priority list! I have always made myself wait until after Christmas to start skiing but man, the snow is just calling to me! The question is, just which girlfriend is going to succumb to my persistent pestering this morning? We shall see, maybe I can get a couple of them to trade a day of getting ready for Christmas for some fresh powder and that glorious mountain air.

Thursday, December 10, 2009


Tucked away between the parties, the dinners, the programs and the celebrations are the moments when you get the chance to really reflect on what this year has brought and lessons learned. It's quiet now, late, I should be sleeping but the words in my head won't let me rest until they are written down. Lately my thoughts have kept me from sleep. I am not sure if I am bothered by something in particular or if there is just a bunch of "stuff" in there that is wanting to rise to the top like cream. Oh I hope hope it's the "cream" because the being bothered by "stuff" is starting to wear me down. I have a bazillion things to do between now and Christmas but here in the quiet of 1:37 a.m I am thinking that those things really aren't all that important.

I met a family today, a sweet, beautiful Hispanic family. They think that I have a lot. I guess that compared to them I do. Here is why I can't sleep...Whenever I meet someone for the first time, or whenever I continue to build relationships with people I would hope that they like me for who I am NOT for what I have.

As we were putting their little boy to sleep for surgery, he was frightened, he started to cry and looking around the OR for his mom, couldn't find her so seeing me he reached out and wrapped his little arms around my neck and wouldn't let go. I cried with him. I know very little Spanish but enough to whisper in his ear as he drifted off to sleep that he would be alright, he would be alright...I wish that they knew that "this" is who I am.

I will meet someone tomorrow, compared to me, she has a lot. I will be impressed by what she has and intimidated at the same time which, will enable me in a way from being myself. Maybe, all she would like is for someone to like her for who she is and not for what she has...

Don't you love how the Christmas season wraps itself around everything? Your thoughts, your actions, what you say, how you feel. It's like even the cold is warm and the dark is light.

I think I can sleep now.

Sunday, November 29, 2009


Thanksgiving dinner was just THAT good this year! We had so much fun with the family all there. Every other year we get everyone of the kids to come home but, Stephanie and Jon haven't made it for a few years so it was a real treat this year to have everyone there. We even had Grandma Verna.

I am so glad that Grandpa Bob wanted to go to the cabin. I was pretty set on having Thanksgiving at home this year but he convinced me that the cabin was a better idea and as usual he was right. The weather was absolutely gorgeous! John helped the little ones build a tee pee outside and they had a blast playing in it all weekend. I love knowing that they will have these memories one day to look back on and that they will always bring a smile to their face as they recall all the fun times they spent with their cousins at the cabin! I have so many of my own that bring me such joy as I think back. I was such a lucky girl to have such a wonderful childhood with great parents and wonderful cousins to spend ALL my days with! Now I see my grandchildren doing the same thing and I wish they knew right now how lucky they are to have such good friends in their lives forever!

We certainly ate until we hurt Thanksgiving day. Nobody left the table hungry. Nobody left the couch hungry or the kitchen or the great room or the cabin for that matter. There was enough food for another dinner the next day. One day I am going to learn to cook just the right amount of food. But then Skyler would be so disappointed that there were no left overs...

Monday, November 23, 2009


I've tried not to complain but honestly this is just getting ridiculous! I know I am a control freak and probably need therapy but most of you have gotten used to me by now and have accepted that flaw in my character, however the blood on my keyboard as I try to type this post is rather disturbing, and I keep typing the wrong letters because I can't use my "pointer" finger. This is actually a "2" episode story...I'll try to explain:

Thursday, my favorite day of the week, I decide that I would hang up the Christmas lights on the roof before it got too cold and there was snow to contend with. I pulled out the "Little Giant Ladder" and feeling much safer than I ever have in years past hoisted all the lights up on the roof top Ho,Ho, Ho! I am into the process a mere one strand when I stand up and nearly fall to my knees again as my back decides to not only not straighten but spasm at the same time! OH MY HECK! I thought someone had shot me! I looked around for a lone gunman at the same time feeling for blood, there had to be hurt too bad not to have BLOOD! Then I had to admit to myself that I was responsible for this incredible amount if pain. I should known better than to put my body in that nearly fatal position in the first place, did I really believe that I was still 30 years old...well, sort of. Taking advantage of the slant of the roof and the fact that I could no longer stand I crawled to a sunny spot and laid myself down thinking that this was the absolute most optimal position for a situation like this...Ive have been in situations like this before however, the roof was new. Minutes went by as did a few of my neighbors and I am beginning to think that if I were driving home and I saw my neighbor lying on their roof would I stop and ask him or her if they were alright...yes, yes I would...NOT ONE OF MY NEIGHBORS STOPPED! In fact, I dare say that not one of them even slowed down. SURE, I am laying on my roof in NOVEMBER suntanning...fully clothed, no, better yet, I have just decided to take a quick NAP before finishing the lights! Meanwhile as I am trying to figure out what they could possibly be thinking the sun is starting to go down and it is getting cold! I have got to figure out how to get off of the roof. Now, only those of you who have had back trouble will completely understand this next little complication...I CAN'T MOVE but, I have to. I roll painfully over onto my stomach and proceed to crawl army man style up the asphalt shingles to the top of the gable and then looking over the other side to where the trusty Little Giant is waiting right where I left it, many, many asphalt shingles below. If I can get turned around and aim myself just right I can land feet first right on top of the fist rung of the ladder and be down in possibly 10 painful steps. Still, no one has come to my rescue. By now I would have thought that the neighborhood grapevine would have had the chairs set up and popcorn for sell...

I did manage to make it down off the roof with all the rest of my body parts in tact and because I work where I do my good friend Dr. Ashby "fixed" me with some remarkable steroids and I am now back to my spunky, sarcastic self. However...the following Sunday, a mere 2 days later, while making dinner for my WONDERFUL family, I sliced the top of my finger off with my Pampered Chief Slicer (i.e. the blood on the keyboard). The finger is healing nicely however, I think it will take approximately 2-3 weeks for it to stop bleeding! I will have a slightly malformed pointer finger on my right hand from now until that great day when all body parts that have been lost due to circumstances beyond our control...are restored and everything is back to perfect. Quite frankly, I can hardly wait because I think that the restoration process will also include my BRAIN!!!

I could go in to great detail about my little "finger" trauma but, the reactions that I have gotten from family members on my mishap thus far have not been favorable so, I will spare the grim details but, I will never eat cooked carrots again without thinking of my poor finger tip and I
grantee that if you ever ask me about it NEITHER WILL YOU :)

Thursday, November 19, 2009


Like everyone else, my life's story will read someday that I lived, I loved and I passed on. What it may not say or what many might not ever know are the obscure people who touched my life and helped make me who I am. One such person lived, loved and passed on himself this last week. Torn from his family too early he leaves a legacy of gentle wisdom, and a love for family that few men attain in this life. Lucky him! He told me once that he felt that of all the people that he could remember from our high school class I had probably made the most changes...not sure how I felt about that at the time but, as the years checked themselves off I realized that it was a sincere and genuine compliment, ment only to help me achieve even more good things in my life. He knew what I was capabale of even back then. I have thought of him often and smiled. I will think of him still. He was and will continue to be one of those people who if you were lucky enough to have him touch your life in some way you were truly blessed.

Sunday, November 15, 2009


Nina and Skyler were married last night. What a cute couple they make. The day was beautiful with our first real snow storm adding to the pre-holiday spirit. Christina was dazzling in her dress and looked so pretty as my dad, her grandfather, escorted her down the isle. It's not often that you see my dad in a tux but the guy wears one very well! I'm beginning to think that 80 isn't a bad place to be in life if I can be 80 like him.

I know that Nina's thoughts were with her dad a lot yesterday. We all miss him so. Life has not been the same without Bruce. Especially for Nina. In so many ways she is very much like her dad. Resilient, determined, and with a little bit of that "Clark" stubbornness, all great qualities to get you through life's good and not so good times. Bruce would have been proud of Nina yesterday and I know that he would have had no one else but our dad walk her down the isle if he couldn't...things were as they should have been yesterday. If we could have changed it we would have but, that isn't up to us so, we do the best we can and I think we accomplished just that. We will ALWAYS take care of Bruce's Nina until he can once again take her in is arms and tell her himself how proud he is of her and how very much he loves her.

November 14, 2009

Tuesday, November 10, 2009


We had such fun at Maddie's birthday party on Sunday. She turned "2". I can't believe how fast the time goes by. Maddie's mommie made a beautiful cake for her. It seemed almost sad to have to cut it but, not only was it gorgeous it also was delicious! Two year olds are SO much fun! Maddie loved eating her cake and ice cream so much that she finally decided to just pull the ice cream scoop out of the container and use it as her spoon! She is just so darn cute! I almost got her to look at me in a couple of the pictures that I took...almost. She is really good at avoiding the camera. I think that one day that will all change but for now I keep trying to catch her looking at me...just once. I think it is sort of a game between the two of us. As soon as I put my camera down she never stops looking at me. When I pick it up...well, you can see what happens then! No doubt about it, she's got me wrapped around her little finger!


Sunday, November 8, 2009


Stephanie and I had such a fun weekend with her kids. I hated to see them go home. They are growing up so fast and because they live in Vernal I don't get to see them as often as I would like to. She is such a great mom always trying her best to do what is right for them. They keep her very busy but I don't think that she would trade being a mom for anything else in the world. Raising children can be frustrating and fascinating at the same time. It can bring tears and laughter about every ten to fifteen minutes and there are times when you just want to pull your hair out but, in the quiet times when things get real, there is nothing that can compare to those little ones. What they say comes straight from their hearts and that's when you know that there is no one else on earth loves you the way they do.

Monday, November 2, 2009


Sometimes I think that there is a little bit of New York in all of us. Especially when I have to leave knowing that it will be a while before I return again. There is just something about New York that tends to make you want to return and return. Fascinating? Yes. Diverse? Absolutely. But, more than that there is an atmosphere that tends to draw you in. It's like you find yourself thinking..."I could live here." "I COULD LIVE HERE!" I know that it would probably get old after a while. Just like every other place does. You would probably grow tired of the theater, the museums, the shopping, the different cultures, the food, the night life, the people watching, the...traffic, the crowds, the ipod zombies... But it is interesting to be here for a week and take it all in. Honestly, unless I had a VERY lucrative job, I couldn't live there. I couldn't afford to! When you pay $20-$25.00 just for lunch everyday ( and that is a cheap lunch) you have to be making some good money to make ends meet! A cheap apt. will run you $150.00 a day! WOW! A little out of my league :) I can't really complain. I love where I live and that I get to visit NYC once every now and again. We tried to pack as
much into the time we had there as we could taking in one show after another. Eating at all of the places that people had suggested we try and orienting ourselves once again to the metro and the Uptown/Downtown way the New Yorkers do everything.

We happened to hit the very busy weekend of Halloween and the New York City Marathon. It was well, shall we say interesting to say the least. Halloween takes on a whole new dimension in New York! Move over little kids because the BIG kids are out to make a SPLASH! The bigger the better!

Steve and I watched the NYC marathon runners come in from Central Park. It was wonderful. Such a beautiful place to be. We sat on the rocks up above everyone else and looked down on the course as the runners came in. Our own "birds eye view."

We had a blast and if there was one thing we might have done different it may have been to stay just a little longer!

I might have had a few more chestnuts also!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


Oh how I love these little cowgirls and this little cowboy!!! They came over tonight for dinner to show us their Halloween costumes and what fun we had taking pictures and trying to make them show off just a little bit. Not hard for Cole and Maddie but Bella just wasn't having any part of it. Did I mention that I am already feeling like I should be staying home? I really feel bad that I am going to be missing the little ones all dressed up for Halloween. I really don't miss the BIG kids coming to my door scooping up handfuls of candy but, I LOVE the little ones! Remind me not to plan a trip over Halloween again! In the meantime...I will do a bit of Halloweening in NYC! Sounds like fun doesn't it!