This picture is for you Nancy, Blackeyed Susan's)!I spent such an enjoyable evening with my sisters that "double" (hehe) as my cousins. We rode to Preston ID to visit family because one of our other cousins, Karen, lost her battle with cancer over the weekend. Karen has always been our "older" sis. She was our mom's older sisters daughter. 10 years older than Nancy, 12 years older than me and 13 years older than Chris so, she had the fortunate/ unfortunate responsibility of keeping track of all of us...and she did! There were more than Nancy, me and Chris...Along with the three of us came Matt, Bruce, Deb, Mitzi and Shane. I don't think I ever heard her complain. Not even in the middle of her battle with cancer did she ever let on that she was having a difficult time coping. I know that we were all taught to be tough. Our mothers were tough. We were taught to seldom complain. We didn't whine. But dang, don't you think we could let each other know that just maybe we are feeling sick enough to die??!
We learn to live with the "if onlys", the "what ifs" and the "we should haves", and tell ourselves that the next time something happens we are absolutely going to do better. Then, life happens and we find ourselves completely wrapped up with our day to day agendas and extra time becomes almost non-existent. My days seem to just melt into each other until the weekend hits and, it's hurry and catch up with all the stuff that you couldn't get done during the week so that you can start the next week which, is pretty much going to be no different than the last. DEPRESSING! SO, I have decided to do something different this week or, I have decided to try and MAKE a difference this week. I am not quite sure how or what I am doing yet but, after spending time with my favorite people last night I realize that I have a lot of things I still need to DO before my time runs out! I know that you don't have to do big things in fact, it's the little things that add up. The important thing is to DO the little things. My attempt at making a difference will hopefully keep me from falling into that trap that I see set in my path, you know the one, it's the "apathy", "I'm just too tired", "don't bother me" trap that tends to get us all at some point. When I really think about it, my problem is called "oil". I've been running a bit low lately, maybe even below the line, in danger of doing some irreversible damage. The red light hasn't come on yet but, if I don't start adding some of that precious fluid...Well you get the picture.
Thank you Nancy and Chris for always "being there" for me. I LOVE you two and, as long as you are here my oil will never completely run out :)
We learn to live with the "if onlys", the "what ifs" and the "we should haves", and tell ourselves that the next time something happens we are absolutely going to do better. Then, life happens and we find ourselves completely wrapped up with our day to day agendas and extra time becomes almost non-existent. My days seem to just melt into each other until the weekend hits and, it's hurry and catch up with all the stuff that you couldn't get done during the week so that you can start the next week which, is pretty much going to be no different than the last. DEPRESSING! SO, I have decided to do something different this week or, I have decided to try and MAKE a difference this week. I am not quite sure how or what I am doing yet but, after spending time with my favorite people last night I realize that I have a lot of things I still need to DO before my time runs out! I know that you don't have to do big things in fact, it's the little things that add up. The important thing is to DO the little things. My attempt at making a difference will hopefully keep me from falling into that trap that I see set in my path, you know the one, it's the "apathy", "I'm just too tired", "don't bother me" trap that tends to get us all at some point. When I really think about it, my problem is called "oil". I've been running a bit low lately, maybe even below the line, in danger of doing some irreversible damage. The red light hasn't come on yet but, if I don't start adding some of that precious fluid...Well you get the picture.
Thank you Nancy and Chris for always "being there" for me. I LOVE you two and, as long as you are here my oil will never completely run out :)
3 comments:
I can totally relate to what you're saying here .... I just learned last night that a good friend of mine who has an identical twin (54 years old) died suddenly yesterday morning of toxic shock syndrome! I can't quit thinking of her and the life she left behind. We ALL have to remember to do "whatever" NOW! Thanks Joey, for your beautiful words!
this was a really great post joey! i've been thinking about the same things a lot lately. I know the woman that Shauna mentioned... her family is in my parent's stake.
Thanks Joey. I loved the time together too. When I got home, I told Zane my jaws ached! I haven't talked that much in at least a year. I am so glad we went. We are going to miss Karen. I already do... I didn't have an email waiting for me from her...I so looked forward to each of her up-dates.
Thank you for the "black-eyed-susans"... they are beautiful!
Love ya forever!
Nancy
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