~LOVE "YOUR" LIFE~

I LOVE these flowers! They grow on vines in Guatemala. I was so excited to go back and see them again. The blossom is about one and a half feet long! I have TOO many pictures of the flowers of Guatemala but, they are so amazing. Can you even imagine something like this growing in our backyards?!



I have had a quiet day today, lots of time to think. It is at times like this that I usually sit down at the computer and count my blessings with gratitude mixed with a little humor and sarcasm... So, hold on!

It has been years since Steve has traveled for business. Yes, he has spent a day here and there but, a week at a time has just been unheard of for the past 10 years until today. I'm not quite sure what to do with myself, no one to talk to, no one to cook for ( not that I do that anyway but...) no one to complain to, no one to go places with. It's rather a lonely world without him around and it's only Sunday! I have always had the kids to fill up the house before, now they are gone too. Wow, how time changes things. I had the whole bench to myself today at church until one of my friends saw me sitting alone and came over and sat with me. The circle of life they call it. I prefer to think of it more as the process of becoming an orphan! One's life consists of several different stages some good, in-fact some GREAT! Some not so good. This one that I am in right now...Not so good, my health is spinning out of control, my future is a black hole, and the only thing I see right now that is a sure thing is that I have a job... Tomorrow! Not a lot of people can add that last one to their list so, I am truly blessed however, between the exacerbation's and the exasperation's I find myself quite incapable of getting up off the couch at times! That may have something to do with the mid-fifty thing...( My own personal summers about 10-12 times a day and night, and the introduction to replacement hormones that are a far cry from what my own body used to make). Please tell me that my sixties are going to be better!

Okay enough already...In all actuality things are going along rather smoothly for how really messed up they are or, maybe the Prozac is working exceptionally well and I just don't care...( I'm kidding girls, I know you worry when I say things like that, hehe...sorry). My job, although still challenging is getting better and I don't cry myself home every night. It's down to once or twice a week now and seriously that is SUCH an improvement! We have hired two more Circulators, one of which has a ton of experience and even helps me out when I find myself in a pickle...An almost daily occurrence for me. I am starting to feel more confident and comfortable in the OR and that, in itself, is a miracle! It has almost been one full year...(September).

Mostly, I love my life. I know that it is quite different from what it used to be but, different is okay, in-fact, different can be good! One day I think that I may look back on this busy time in my life and wish I could have it all again. For now, I will tell myself ( or maybe I will just let one of the many voices I hear tell me...Kidding again girls...) that I am never, ever going to get that old!