~I SHOULD BE ASLEEP~

Tucked away between the parties, the dinners, the programs and the celebrations are the moments when you get the chance to really reflect on what this year has brought and lessons learned. It's quiet now, late, I should be sleeping but the words in my head won't let me rest until they are written down. Lately my thoughts have kept me from sleep. I am not sure if I am bothered by something in particular or if there is just a bunch of "stuff" in there that is wanting to rise to the top like cream. Oh I hope hope it's the "cream" because the being bothered by "stuff" is starting to wear me down. I have a bazillion things to do between now and Christmas but here in the quiet of 1:37 a.m I am thinking that those things really aren't all that important.

I met a family today, a sweet, beautiful Hispanic family. They think that I have a lot. I guess that compared to them I do. Here is why I can't sleep...Whenever I meet someone for the first time, or whenever I continue to build relationships with people I would hope that they like me for who I am NOT for what I have.

As we were putting their little boy to sleep for surgery, he was frightened, he started to cry and looking around the OR for his mom, couldn't find her so seeing me he reached out and wrapped his little arms around my neck and wouldn't let go. I cried with him. I know very little Spanish but enough to whisper in his ear as he drifted off to sleep that he would be alright, he would be alright...I wish that they knew that "this" is who I am.

I will meet someone tomorrow, compared to me, she has a lot. I will be impressed by what she has and intimidated at the same time which, will enable me in a way from being myself. Maybe, all she would like is for someone to like her for who she is and not for what she has...

Don't you love how the Christmas season wraps itself around everything? Your thoughts, your actions, what you say, how you feel. It's like even the cold is warm and the dark is light.

I think I can sleep now.