~THURSDAYS~

Sometimes I feel so small, like I'm not really even here. After all where is "here" anyway. I get up, I go to work, I come home, I go to bed and then I do it all over again the next day. It is just so mundane, boring and tedious. I've lost me. I'm out there somewhere just ahead of Monday but falling behind Tuesday and reaching out for Wednesday...not sure if I will ever even make it to Friday. I had friends once. I spent hours with them on almost a daily basis. Now, I work. I used to ride a bike everyday for one or two hours. Now, I'm too tired. Running was a ritual. Now, my knees KILL me if I even try...Where am I? I get that things change, I get that I'm older, I get that I'm sort of trapped in the "menopausal stage" of life...but, I also get that I have lost important things in my life and dang it, I WANT THEM BACK. I am not ready to give them up yet. Do I have to? Can I still ride and run and be social even when my body and my spirit are screaming "NO" ? How do I get back what I no longer seem to have? Is it just desire or does it go deeper than that? Maybe the answers lie in the "Thursdays" of my life...Awe yes, there I am. I guess that one day a week will have to do for now and how grateful I am to have that day! Hooray for THURSDAY! For the ski days, the bike rides, the swims, the hikes, the runs the walks the lunches the talks and most of all thank you Thursday for keeping both my feet solidly on the ground safely away from the edge where sadly some of us think that if we just step carefully off maybe just maybe we will be able to fly.