Mornings take on a whole new dimension in my line of work. No early morning smell of fresh brewed coffee for me, oh no, ( Not that I ever drank the stuff anyway but I always liked the way it smelled) early morning smells for me no longer resemble coffee beans brewing or eggs and bacon cooking on the stove...Nope, it's Ode de Escher for me, the firing up of the autoclaves and the ever present smell of the over powering chemicals that are used to clean a surgery center from top to bottom before and after every procedure! Actually, the smells can be quite pleasant ( minus the eschar) for the most part...For me a sort of second home given the amount of time I spend there and at times I really wish my home could be so clean and smell so good! I have gotten to where I can walk in and for brief moments during certain periods of the day feel slightly comfortable. Don't read anything into that, I still have mostly stressful days of wondering if I will ever learn and remember everything I need to about my job but, for the most part I am getting by... I have had a few moments of brilliance believe it or not when I have so anticipated the doctors that even they have been shocked! I give them my best " you expected less" look and keep on going. Then 10 minutes later I screw up :) It's my way of keeping them guessing...I don't really want them to think that I have this thing figured out yet...Today for instance I forgot more than I remembered, a common occurrence for me but, there are a few day that I remember more than I forget! If you think for one minute that my confidence is starting to build then just throw another machine into the mix and tell me that I must master it before tomorrow as there will surely be a surgery that will be needing it and I will most certainly have to know how to use it. I will spend a sleepless night worrying about what I am going to do and how I am going to do it, and then drag myself to work wondering how I am ever going to get though the day. Somehow I always do. It isn't always pretty but, I manage...They haven't fired me yet!
The OR is a funny place. It's a world unlike any other. It has its own pulse, that is when it has a heart. Most of the time it does but, there are moments when CPR is desperately needed mostly because of righteous indignation but still indignation tends to leave a body pretty cold don't you agree? My theory is, (and I have been trying it out since starting back there) I have never liked being referred to as one who "eats their young" like most circulators so, from the very beginning I have tried to help everyone else. Now I know this raises a question knowing that I don't know anything but, I KNOW HOW TO CLEAN!!! I will often go in and help "turn-over" a room or clean an extra one at the end of the day. It's not all that much but it is something I CAN do. It makes a difference albeit a small one. If one person can go home feeling better about their day then hooray! Mission accomplished! One day I hope to develop some genuine camaraderie back there.
Continue CPR...1-one thousand, 2-one thousand, 3-one thousand...
1 comment:
Jobs are FUN :)
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