~UP ON THE ROOF TOP~

I've tried not to complain but honestly this is just getting ridiculous! I know I am a control freak and probably need therapy but most of you have gotten used to me by now and have accepted that flaw in my character, however the blood on my keyboard as I try to type this post is rather disturbing, and I keep typing the wrong letters because I can't use my "pointer" finger. This is actually a "2" episode story...I'll try to explain:

Thursday, my favorite day of the week, I decide that I would hang up the Christmas lights on the roof before it got too cold and there was snow to contend with. I pulled out the "Little Giant Ladder" and feeling much safer than I ever have in years past hoisted all the lights up on the roof top Ho,Ho, Ho! I am into the process a mere one strand when I stand up and nearly fall to my knees again as my back decides to not only not straighten but spasm at the same time! OH MY HECK! I thought someone had shot me! I looked around for a lone gunman at the same time feeling for blood, there had to be blood...it hurt too bad not to have BLOOD! Then I had to admit to myself that I was responsible for this incredible amount if pain. I should known better than to put my body in that nearly fatal position in the first place, did I really believe that I was still 30 years old...well, sort of. Taking advantage of the slant of the roof and the fact that I could no longer stand I crawled to a sunny spot and laid myself down thinking that this was the absolute most optimal position for a situation like this...Ive have been in situations like this before however, the roof was new. Minutes went by as did a few of my neighbors and I am beginning to think that if I were driving home and I saw my neighbor lying on their roof would I stop and ask him or her if they were alright...yes, yes I would...NOT ONE OF MY NEIGHBORS STOPPED! In fact, I dare say that not one of them even slowed down. SURE, I am laying on my roof in NOVEMBER suntanning...fully clothed, no, better yet, I have just decided to take a quick NAP before finishing the lights! Meanwhile as I am trying to figure out what they could possibly be thinking the sun is starting to go down and it is getting cold! I have got to figure out how to get off of the roof. Now, only those of you who have had back trouble will completely understand this next little complication...I CAN'T MOVE but, I have to. I roll painfully over onto my stomach and proceed to crawl army man style up the asphalt shingles to the top of the gable and then looking over the other side to where the trusty Little Giant is waiting right where I left it, many, many asphalt shingles below. If I can get turned around and aim myself just right I can land feet first right on top of the fist rung of the ladder and be down in possibly 10 painful steps. Still, no one has come to my rescue. By now I would have thought that the neighborhood grapevine would have had the chairs set up and popcorn for sell...

I did manage to make it down off the roof with all the rest of my body parts in tact and because I work where I do my good friend Dr. Ashby "fixed" me with some remarkable steroids and I am now back to my spunky, sarcastic self. However...the following Sunday, a mere 2 days later, while making dinner for my WONDERFUL family, I sliced the top of my finger off with my Pampered Chief Slicer (i.e. the blood on the keyboard). The finger is healing nicely however, I think it will take approximately 2-3 weeks for it to stop bleeding! I will have a slightly malformed pointer finger on my right hand from now until that great day when all body parts that have been lost due to circumstances beyond our control...are restored and everything is back to perfect. Quite frankly, I can hardly wait because I think that the restoration process will also include my BRAIN!!!

I could go in to great detail about my little "finger" trauma but, the reactions that I have gotten from family members on my mishap thus far have not been favorable so, I will spare the grim details but, I will never eat cooked carrots again without thinking of my poor finger tip and I grantee that if you ever ask me about it NEITHER WILL YOU :)