~VACATION ANYONE~

(Don't take this too seriously...also, my friend told me damn, shit, and hell are not swear words....Okay, okay, I'll get the soap...).

I have nothing to say really, nothing of great importance to write about...I can't think of anything remotely funny or interesting happening in my life right now. Just long days of work and wanting to desperately be someplace else. I keep telling myself that I need to stay away from on coming trains or high ledges right now because the temptation to step off or step in front of might just overpower me...Yea, I guess you could say that I am having a bad day...hell, I have had a bad week and, I need a vacation from myself. Is there such a thing. Just a quick change of "person-age"(I really like the "age" part)? We take vacations for different reasons don't we. A much needed trip to the tropics to bask in the sun and the sand because our souls crave the warmth only the islands can provide. We throw our skies on the rack and head north to the snow covered mountains because we want to defy gravity for a week and tell ourselves once again that we really do "still have it" you know, that need to show everyone (self included) that the kid in us is still alive and kickin! Well, I need a vacation from me. I need to just leave this person that I have turned into and go away for awhile...somewhere kind and forgiving where it will be okay to just sit and do nothing but think about being kind and forgiving...I really need to do that. Yesterday I realized how much I have forgotten about basic attributes. I need to re-discover many of them...Perhaps ALL of them! Lately I have been so worried about stuff I can't do anything about that it has almost consumed me. I have forgotten who I am and why, yes why I am here...and I owe everyone that I love an apology for being a beast of burden because I truly have been an ASS. (or are beasts of burdens cows)? This so-called vacation from "self" could prove very enlightening once I discover how to fix the stupid and put a little grease on the smart. I just need to figure out where I've stowed the patience, kindness and tolerance. They are there, I'll find them, I just have to push through the insensitive, selfish and self-absorbed... How long do you think I will need to be gone? :)